he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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