I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
