I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Sacagawea was the original milf.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She told me I should be a condom model.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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