I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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