In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
