tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
