Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
