My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i just google imaged poop.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
