We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
