hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
