just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
