Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
