they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
