Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
