I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just high enough for therapy.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
