Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
