I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
