A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
