Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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