Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
