dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
