I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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