do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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