she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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