As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
