her vagine was all disorganized.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
