Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
be right there i have to get my cape
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
