He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
