OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
