You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
