the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
