she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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