i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
