peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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