3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
