all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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