It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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