i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
