I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
