Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
