Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
