I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
