Buhtt sex?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
