Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
