i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
