dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
