How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
