we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
