Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
