we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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