Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
