We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He felt like a one man threesome
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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