Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
